Heart ache

I stayed up saturday night writing this and fell asleep sitting up on the couch. Don't remember the last time I did that ;-) I still wanted to post though
As time gets closer I feel like not completing things. I feel so funny when I walk around the house with so much to do and I do not want to finish it. Last week I was so different and I had the desire to accomplish everything, today not so much. We did get a lot done but I should have done more besides eat chocolate zucchini cake :-) It was a very good day for me because I spent almost the entire day doing tagging along with Justin. Joys beautiful casket is almost done and I got to go and see it today and meet Bob. It was so neat and special to watch Justin touch her casket so tenderly. I could not think of it as her casket though and Justin was totally fine with me calling it a beautiful box. :-) It is by far more beautiful that I could have ever imagined and to thing that Justin made it is amazing. This beautiful box is stained and has one coat of clear on it. We had to take it to another shop for the final coat about an hour after we left Bobs so we ran around town for a little bit. I think that it was the hardest thing Justin has done in a long time to leave our baby's beautiful box and not bring it home with us. After we were done with that we ran a few more errands. Then we came home. Our kids were with Justin's parents the whole day and I didn't realize how nice it was to just follow my sweet heart around all day. It is good to have my kids back now though.
No matter what, the heartache will get worse before it gets better, but it will get better. I love my sweet baby Joy with all my heart and I know she has her daddy wrapped around her finger. Out hearts may hurt so much that they are physically sore but we couldn't be more grateful for our sweet Joy and the blessing she has been in our lives and so many others.