having joy is a decision

I went to a great American Mothers mini conference this morning. The main speaker was Sister Elaine Dalton and her daughter Emi Edgley. At the beginning of the conference they asked who had the youngest baby :-) The youngest one there was 7 weeks, Joy would have been 5. I had not armed myself for this conference meaning I had decided last minute to go and had not said my prayers that morning. I let my guard down and for a minute became painfully aware how much I missed my daughter. Here was this fantastic mother daughter duo. Talking about cute shoes and all the fun things that they had done together, and for a moment I was missing everything I would not have the chance to do with my daughter, right now... Right now was the key word for me. There are so many things that I have learned in my journey with my little girl, but one of the main things is to find joy. Once I heard her name referred to in the talk I felt a lot of the pain go away. A lot of their talk was about how we are molded to fit our shoe just perfectly, our shoe being our family, our trials, the list goes on. I have had to tell myself so many times that I can do this trial. I can find joy in my journey. And I find that with the Lords help that I truly can. I am not just telling myself anymore, I am actually making it through. Having joy is a decision and it is a decision that I know my daughter is happy I am making. I came away from the conference with a few goals, a desire to hold my children close, a desire to never go without morning prayer and an affirmation that I am surrounded by amazing women to support and buoy me up. It is so good to have great friends wonderful family and children, and an amazing husband. Thanks Joy for always helping me find joy in my journey.