Hide n seek

Joy wanted to play hide and seek today :-) She was hiding really good too!! Jaxon and Jenston came with me today and even they had a hard time finding her after I did. Once we all found her we made snow angels with her. Jaxon is sick so he didn't make one but Jenston and I did. We gave her a kiss and her butterfly a kiss and said see ya later. Love our Joy!!

Talking to strangers about Joy

So just a random post... I called today to make a hospital (last one :-)!!!!) payment over the phone today and since it was a labor and delivery the lady kindly asked how old my baby was. I know a lot of people have had a hard time with this question for a lot of reasons. You don't want to make the person feel bad for asking and it does give your heart a painful little twinge. I have heard a lot of people just answer with how old their baby would be or quickly saying that the baby passed away. My mind raced a little with where I wanted to go. I always have a hard time not talking about Joy. She is still a huge part of my life and I love talking about her!! I replied "oh she passed away she was 5 hours old.. Pause.. We knew she was going to pass away, she had a condition called anencephaly and we were just so happy she made it to term and spent 5 hours with us." I am so grateful for the ladies response! She said "I am so sorry. I am so happy you were able to have her for that long. What a neat experience." It was!! I am so grateful everyday for that experience with my sweet Joy!! We talked for just a second more and in a choked voice the lady told me thank you for sharing. If only she knew how much I appreciated her answer. All of the time people mean well and I know that just one word can affect the way a condolence is received dramatically. Had she said that I should be grateful for the time I had with her it would have been a totally different conversation. But she just simply said she was happy we were able to have that time and expressed a genuine "sorry". She didn't say much but it was more than just "sorry, now what is your card number :-)" I don't think I have ever been offended by something someone has said, I am sure unfortunately the time will come where it just hits me off guard. I know I have been very lucky because a lot of my friends have had some pretty silly things said to them. Even having lost a baby, everyones experience is so different, I still don't know what to say. I am so grateful for this lady's example for me today, I know how good it felt to talk about my Joy and feel good about it afterwards. Now my heart is full and I can have a happy cry :-)

Our Birth Story {little cry}

I am really hoping this works :) I know a lot of you that came to Joy's funeral wanted to see her video again. Justins awesome brother pulled an all nighter to make this for us the night before the funeral and we are so grateful he did. For a long time I wasn't ready to share it with the world on my blog. These moments are so precious and priceless to me and I was very nervous to post it. But now that I have got to that point in her story I figured there wouldn't be a better time. Happy 4 months Joy!

Alright I had a second to get it up on youtube. Can't figure out how to put a large video on the blog yet sorry :)

HERE is the link.. hope it works for everyone

Christmas talent

I know Christmas is over but I thought it would be fun to share our Christmas talent. You can see what goofs we are. Every year our families have talent shows so this is the movie we put together and yes the poor grammer was intentional. I told Justin that I was the cameraman but he wrote it and I had to go with the flow. It was a lot of fun to do with the kids and we did a lot of laughing. Hope you all enjoy.

Click HERE

PS Jenston's part "your a beautiful person but your talent stinks" :) We practiced for a whole week

PSS Happy Anniversary Justin!! I love you more than I ever thought I could. Thank you for truly helping me find Joy in the Journey.